Tonight, after reading a book entitled, Hard Love, I came to an important revelation that I think is necessary in my growth and maturity. It's about my ex. He likes to point fingers, but I'd rather not because that's not the conclusion tonight that I've reached. For the past couple of weeks, I was questioning why I even dated him... he called me a bitch, etc. because I wouldn't talk to him online like twice, which was irritating and frustrating. It seems I forgot the kind of person that Will is.
Anyway, so I'd been looking back on our relationship with nothing but regret. But, anyway, either way you look at it, I think it's important to remember that in the beginning, I was happy. Truly happy. And although in hindsight, there are somethings I regret about June of freshman year, I didn't regret them as it was happening. And I think it's important to remember that I was young and naive, as most of us are as rising sophomores, but I cannot look back and simply regret two years of my life.
Although he has now decided to hate me, I have decided after my epiphany that I cannot hate him in return. I don't believe after sharing yourself for two years that you could possibly hate someone. You see, it's easy to pass the blame off on the other person and let the accusations fly, but in the end, I was in love. And I won't forget what it was like. And yeah, I was blinded by it, blinded from imperfections and different paths of life, but in some small sense, it was still there.
So now, I'll walk alone, to him unknown. Because he's pushed me out, which I think is hurtful that he hates me, but at the same time, whatever helps him to move on and be happy is important. I don't like the idea of someone hating me so much, but in the same respect, I understand why he might have to do so. But anyway, through it all, I think it's important not to look back and regret my decisions. I made these decisions, and for the longest time, I truly was happy. And when it was over, I knew. And every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. And although we aren't together, I think tonight I've realized it is senseless to think ill about him. Love is not always easy. Sometimes, it's hard (hard love). This revelation is about as important to me as it gets.
A thousand words you said to me,
You'll say again,
To her because she,
Deserves them more than,
I could have.
Humans tell lies,
Like the many ones I,
Heard and couldn't bear,
But still I held on,
Waiting for one to be,
...that would be 30 second shitty poetry for you.
p.s. sorry all, for abandoning this community. lol. i'll try to do something for it.